I recently received the gift of pausing and reflecting on authenticity. If you go to thesaurus.com and post the word authentic, you will be given a number of adjectives to describe its essence. Some of them are:
- Validity
- Factualness
- Realness
- Truthfulness
- Purity
- Legitimacy
- Accuracy
- Credibility
- Like it is
- Actuality
- Naked-truth
- Genuineness
- Certainty
I’m sure you could think of many more descriptors. But here’s my gift. Last Friday my beloved father-in-law, Bill, (SOB or Sweet Old Bill) as ascribed by Bill, died. He was 96 and married for over 72 years to his lovely wife, mother, and mother-in-law, Phyllis. And, he lived one of the most authentic lives I have been honored to bear witness to for over 20 years.
Bill was not always appropriate (think bad 1960’s jokes). He was known to be quick to anger and just as quick to recover. His sense of humor often crashed into my feminist values. He liked his food, enjoying many things I would never go near (think sweetbreads).
So what’s the gift? It is through my grieving of this lovely man that I had the epiphany that Bill was authentic every day in every way. True, you got what you got; your sensitivities be damned. But here’s what you did get in a predictable, steady, genuine way:
Kindness – to family, friends, and strangers alike
Generosity – the same welcome in their home, regardless
Love – of his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his great-grandchildren, friends, (he never met a stranger)
Commitment – he did what he said he would do
Faith – abiding faith – something bigger than he would guide his decision-making and secure his values
Love – did I say love already? It is worthy of a second mention as Bill showed love through respect – respect for differences, respect for suffering, respect for success, respect for reality. Bill looked at the world through a prism of love.
In my doctoral program, I took a leadership course where the professor stated his belief that the essence of leadership is the ability to look at the organization and love everyone in the organization. I believe this to be true.
Not feeling the love right now, contact me – This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
I can help.
Dr. Jan C. Bouch
