I admit it has been hard to write during, and about the COVID 19 virus. My primary thoughts have centered around our interpretations of what it means to live in a democracy. Democracy as a concept is about governance by the whole. I’m struck at the persistent cries of those who assert their individual rights – “you can’t tell me to wear a mask.” True, being forced to wear a mask is called an autocracy, not a democracy. In an autocracy, if you are told to wear a mask, you do it or risk the consequences for non-compliance. It’s in a democracy where we have the luxury of acting for the good of the whole. I’m sad that many elected officials have veered away from the notion of acting for the good of the whole. OK, enough said.

On another subject, how has this pandemic tapped your resiliency? I’ve reintroduced myself to cross-stitching (it really can pass the time), zoom calls with friends, actually reading most of The New Yorkers I am accumulating, and taking long walks listening to audible. I’ve spent time doing absolutely nothing; binge watched Homeland – working on Ozark. I’ve made some complicated recipes with success. I’ve sat with my emotions and let them wash over me. I’ve missed hanging with my friends. I’ve enjoyed my time with Steve – a surprise. I love just sitting in the morning with a good cup of coffee and watching Morning Joe. And yes, I’m dealing with my restless soul that wants to see Baby Bailey, drive the Alcan with Wendy, and visit our VT. home and friends.

As we all continue to navigate this ongoing challenge, let us be mindful of the gifts we have, the challenges we face, and the choices we can make to care for our communities. In our most stressful time, pause and remember that kindness is contagious; kindness helps soothe a fearful heart; kindness is about all of us, not me and them. By caring for ourselves and others, we can be the leaders who guide us through this time of uncertainty.

For the first time in a long time, I am taking a break to talk about gratitude and letting go. I won’t bore you with all the details but suffice to say that the past few months of my life have thrown me some real challenges and some fantastic opportunities.

A big one was the heart attack my husband suffered this past Tuesday. Yes. And he is one very humbled and lucky person. Almost 15 years ago, my husband, Steve, went through a seven-way by-pass surgery. You read correctly – Seven! He was 59 and asymptomatic. He was “doing me a favor,” establishing a baseline as he turned 60. His lifestyle choices and a job requiring sensitive and expert navigation were indeed contributors to his health stressors. Whew, no heart damage, a little intricate plumbing, and off we go to our optimistic future.

This past Tuesday, we are both older and perhaps a bit wiser. Steve paid attention to the discomfort in his left chest. Rather than pushing through to his intended goal of playing pickleball that morning, he drove himself to the emergency room. Their doctors quickly administered nitroglycerin that mitigated a much more horrific outcome. An angiogram and other tests gave us the best possible outcome, and he left the hospital a few days later with new medications, including nitroglycerine, a new travel companion for us both.

These past few days, I have ramped up my practice of gratitude. I have stopped the car and looked at the sun coming up over the Green Mountains. I have told my friends that I love them. I have been generous with time and resources. And mostly, I have extended my gratitude for health professionals and their humor, tenderness, and seriousness.

Steve and I will readjust and reframe how we move forward together. One thing that Steve has agreed will help him accomplish his goals is his work with a coach and other professionals. My most enormous gratitude is the opportunity to rely on the talents of others, allowing me to go back to my most cherished role, being Steve’s wife, friend, and love.

As you think of closing out 2019 and moving into 2020, what goals do you have for your life, and who can help you achieve them?