Anyone who has ever owned and loved a pet is likely to believe that there is something unique and special about his or her pet. My husband and I are no exceptions. Yesterday we had a seemingly happy and ornery Shih Tzu, who, with advanced age was becoming just a bit bossier and righteous. And then bam, just like that she took a horrific turn for the worse. Bella was into her 14th year and became part of our family when she was eight weeks old. After an incredibly rough night trying to comfort both her pain and labored breathing, Bella left our care, our home, and our life.
Grieving is something none of us escapes in this life. It can strike us at any time and for any reason that has meaning, significance, and value to us. Kübler-Ross gave us a roadmap for the stages of loss including
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. (www.stages-of-grief-recovery.com/kubler-ross-stages-of-grief.html)
My intellect, needless to say, informed me that my 14+ beloved Bella would not live forever – after all, in people years, she was nearing 80. Denial, yes, perhaps I have a little. Anger, sure, I’m certain it is in the muck of my denial. Bargaining, well, I mostly did that with Bella assuring her that all our walks were, in fact, right for her and her longevity. Depression, wow, now we’re talking something I am right smack in the middle of experiencing.
Grief is not for sissies. It puts the brakes on your ordinary day activities and roots you solidly in sadness, ultimately guiding you to acceptance and even celebration. So to honor the legacy of our beloved pet, let me indulge in what she would bark to you about how to live life:
- Wake up happy and excited to embrace the day – whatever the weather
- Always eat a good breakfast
- Find ways to make others laugh and feel good
- Insist on play
- Take naps
- Take walks
- Be a good host
- Be a good guest
- Use your inside voice unless it's an emergency
- Give and receive love without hesitation
As for me, I will remain in denial about my aging. I will muck around in anger when it periodically taps me on the shoulder and reminds me of my vulnerability. I will bargain by continuing to walk and believe that my walking will help mitigate the small aches and pains. My grieving husband and I will walk out of our depression and soon accept that we were so blessed that Bella chose us as roommates.
